reTHINK

The CORE Quality of a TRUE LEADER

I've been thinking a lot lately about "Leadership."  You can walk into a Barnes and Noble or Books A Million or even a Christian bookstore and find tons of books on Leadership.  I've read a bunch over the years and will continue to.  You see, I'm of the conviction that leaders are learners and when you stop learning, you stop leading.  So continuing to be teachable is KEY.

But... I am convinced there is a CORE quality in every TRUE Leader.  Yes, you can lead without this quality.  But not well.  And definitely not as the leader God would have you to be.

The greatest leader of all time - Jesus Christ - made it very clear.  In Matthew 20 he says, "You know that in this world kings are tyrants, and officials lord it over the people beneath them.  But among you (that is, followers of Jesus) it should be quite different.  Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must become your slave.  For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many."

A True Leader has the heart of a SERVANT. 

In the world's system, leaders are leaders because of their position, power, authority, popularity, family, etc...   But as followers of Jesus, we are NOT OF THIS WORLD.  We live in the Kingdom of God.  And in the Kingdom, Jesus is in charge.  He is Lord, He is Leader.  And we come under His leadership.

Every great leader recognizes that he or she not only has authority, but is one who lives UNDER authority.

In Philippians 2, the Bible says that Jesus came and emptied Himself of His rights as God.  He did not use His "rights" for His own advantage.  Instead, He humbled Himself to death on a cross.  And because of that, God gave Him the name that is above all names.  One day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

If the Savior of mankind humbled Himself, if the very Son of God came to serve, then that is what we are to do.  Seek humility.  Decrease.  Give.  Love.  Encourage.  Help.  Serve.  

If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you are a Leader by definition. 

You have influence.  Steward it wisely. 

Humility, not pride, is the path to greatness.  Serving, not being served, is the path to greatness. 

You are a TRUE LEADER when you don't have to prove your Greatness to yourself or to anyone else.  Humble yourself and God will lift you up. 

Let's take our cue from Jesus!!!

 

 

 

 

Dads who Imitate God the Father

This afternoon, I was reminded of a really cool exchange I had with my son Ben when he was younger.  He was around four or five years old at the time.  

I was out on our front porch.  It was a beautiful morning.  I was sitting in the rocking chair with my Bible and journal open, just conversing with God the Father, spending time alone with Him, listening to Him speak. Birds chirping, QUIET otherwise.

All of a sudden, Ben came NOISILY THROUGH THE DOOR, ASKING ME TO HOLD HIM. 

Now what you’ve got to understand is that I intentionally wake up before the kids so I can have some QUIET TIME.  No distractions, just time for me and the Lord to meet, always with a HOT mug of coffee in hand.

So when he came out there, I was kind of frustrated, a little irritated, and was about to say, “Buddy, I’m busy.”  And I’ve said that before, believe me.  Tammy and I both have.  “Guys, give us some time to spend with God and then we’ll hang out in a little while, okay?  We need this time!”

But this particular morning, I sensed the Lord say, “Terry, just pick him up and hold him.”  So that’s what I did.  I put my Bible aside and picked my son up. 

He quickly SNUGGLED up CLOSE, NESTLED IN MY ARMS, and we just ROCKED!  I held him for a LONG TIME.  We laughed and giggled and touched.  It was great.  And in those moments God spoke to me clearly.

Here’s what I remember Him saying:  “Terry, this is EXACTLY what I do for you.  When you come to me, I sweep you up into my arms  and we embrace, and we talk.  And just as you are holding and loving your son right now, I do the same thing for you.... Because I am your Loving Father.”  

THAT MOMENT AND THAT LESSON HAS STUCK WITH ME!!!

We see from Scripture that Jesus understood the POWER of meaningful touch. With His actions, He demonstrated His knowledge of the GENUINE NEED KIDS HAVE FOR AFFECTION. 

Parents, DADS especially, we are a physical extension of the love of our FATHER GOD!  If you’re a dad, coming from another DAD, we need to show our kids LOTS OF AFFECTION.  We need to touch them.

It may not be easy for you, it may not come naturally, you may not have RECEIVED much AFFECTION from your parents growing up. 

BUT choose to start FRESH:  Hugging and squeezing your kids.  Hold them in your arms.  Play together.  Put your arm on his shoulder.  Hold her face in both hands and tell her how glad you are to be her dad.

Show love to your kids AS OFTEN POSSIBLE , IN AS MANY WAYS AS POSSIBLE.  Keep it up until it becomes the MOST NATURAL THING in the world.  Kids can’t get enough of your love!

 

Some words to parents from Sunday's message on Lust

On Sunday, I spoke in both services at Riverbluff.  We're in a series called "Counter-Culture:  Life in the Kingdom."  I had the passage where Jesus said that Lust is a form of adultery.  It was a heavy topic, but it seriously needs to be addressed.  I'm thankful I have opportunites to teach in that capacity from time-to-time. 

I shared my heart with parents on this subject for a couple of minutes during my message.  Here is my challenge from Sunday for parents: 

"From someone who has worked with young people for many years… your children should not be allowed to have a computer with internet access in their bedroom.  Computers should be in open areas in the home that are visible to everyone.

If you are just hoping that your son or daughter won’t access pornography on the net, that’s being naïve.  The average age a child is exposed to pornography on the internet is 10-11 years of age.  They don't even have to go looking for it; it will find them.

The WISE parent monitors (keeps an eye on) their child’s Facebook, e-mails, cell phones, and text messages.  

Now, some of you youth may be mad at me now… but honestly, I love you WAY TOO MUCH to not say something.  I can't NOT say something.

There should be agreements made before any young person gets a cell phone or opens a Facebook or a Myspace page.  It’s not a RIGHT.  It requires some RESPONSIBILITY.  

You should set boundaries together.  This is healthy.  There are SO MANY AVENUES TODAY for impurity to get in the heart of people, especially young people; from iTouches and iPads to cell phones with little or no restrictions on them.

Parents, you can Help them … you can and should help them monitor their eyes and guard their hearts.  And I promise you this:  Someday they will thank you for it."

THIS IS HUGE!!!

 

6 Simple things to do in Parenting (from Mike Breen)

I wanted to share a great blog I just read from Mike Breen from 3DM.  Here are some simple ways to engage well with your kids. 

http://mikebreen.wordpress.com/2012/02/26/6-simple-things-sally-and-i-did-in-raising-our-kids/

"Parenting Beyond Your Capacity"

A year ago, I read a great little book called, "Parenting Beyond Your Capacity." I highly recommend it to ALL parents. Authors Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof are clear about how God is telling His story through our families.

There is no perfect family. But even so, God wants to tell His story through each family. His desire is for dads and moms to love Jesus with all of their hearts. And as a result, children see faith "lived out" in the home. The ultimate goal then becomes our children being Captivated by Jesus.

I love the simplicity of their message. Five themes are introduced.

As parents we are encouraged to:

1. Widen the Circle... invite others to invest in our children, so our sons and daughters have other voices (voices giving similar messages) that will help shape and determine direction in their lives. For example: Kids ministry leaders, small group leaders, mentors, family friends, etc...

I've learned in student ministry that the older kids get, the more important it is for them to have other voices in their lives saying the same things but in a different way.

2. Imagine the End... focus our energy and effort on the issues that will make a lasting impact. Too often parents believe the end goal is to make their kids HAPPY. But what we give to them or what we do for them is not as important as what we leave IN THEM. (Legacy)

3. Fight for the Heart... creating a culture of unconditional love in our homes that fuel the emotional and moral health of our children.

I love how they explain FIGHTING! "Every family fights, but there is a world of difference between when you fight WITH someone and when you fight FOR someone. When you fight with someone, you want to win. When you fight for someone, you want that person to win. When you fight with people, walls are built up. When you fight for people, walls come down. When you fight with people, relationships are jeopardized. When you fight for people, relationships are prioritized."

Simply put, our kids need to know that we will never stop fighting FOR our relationship with them.

4. Create a Rhythm... tap into the power of quality moments together. Every family has a Rhythm, and we can seize everyday opportunities like morning time, meal time, bed time, and time on the go, in the car to have conversations and teachable moments and quality time together.

5. Make it PERSONAL... put ourselves first when it comes to Personal Growth.

One of my biggest takeaways from the book is: "If you want it to be in them, it needs to be in you."

In other words, if we want our kids to have a growing relationship with Christ, we need to be growing in our relationship with Him. If we want them to be honest, we must be honest. If we want them to serve people, they should see us doing it first. "If we want it to be in them, it needs to be in us."

GREAT REMINDERS ... I hope they encourage you as well!!!

"Parenting Beyond Your Capacity"

 

 

"I've Gotta HIT PAUSE"

This past weekend we had our high school "winter" retreat at Folly Beach.  I stress "winter" because on Saturday it was in the 70's.  Beautiful!

The theme for the weekend was "Pause."  And that's exactly what we did.  We "hit pause" and sought God.  God spoke to each of us about so many things in our lives.  I am so proud of our students who prayed their hearts out on Saturday evening. 

The majority of our youth had no idea what we would be doing Saturday night when they were led by our adult leaders over to the pavilion next to the beach house.  I was playing "Nothing But the Blood" on my guitar as each person came up on the pavilion and took a seat at a picnic table.  Our light was a series of candles.  We had a cross with hammers and nails and index cards for each person.

I began by asking anyone to share what God was saying to them over the weekend and students began to share the amazing things He was showing them. 

I read from 1 Corinthians 11 about the Lord's Supper and we broke bread together and had Communion.  Each person then came up to the cross (as I was playing "Jesus Paid it All) and nailed an index card to it that they had written on.  Most of the writing was about what they wanted to change or begin or about seeking Him.  Each person then picked up a cross necklace to keep as a reminder of this night.  (BTW, I need to mention that the entire time you could hear the waves crashing... oh what a Good Creator God!)

We had an open prayer time and students "prayed their guts out."  I had the privilege of going around and laying hands on two at a time praying over each one.  And as we wrapped up, many youth came up to me to say something and I got the privilege of speaking into their lives individually what I saw and Who they are in God. 

WOW... I will never forget that night!

I never knew how much we would all understand our need for "Hitting Pause" to seek God when I picked this theme.  Actually, the Lord led me to it.  But I had no idea what all He would do in hearts as a result.  I knew God wanted to do something special with us this weekend, and He far exceeded my expectations.  There's only so much you can plan and then God takes over. 

Every one of us must regularly "Hit the Pause Button" during our day.  If we don't, we will rush from one activity to the next and MISS what God is trying to say.  We must break away for some moments of solitude and quiet to hear from God. 

As Psalm 46:10 say, "Be still (silent) and KNOW that I am God." We can only really KNOW God when we make time to KNOW Him. 

Hosea 4:6 has really stuck with me lately.  It says, "My people are being destroyed because they do not know me."  God's desire is that we live the abundant life He intends for us.  We have to KNOW Him if we are are going to live that way.  Otherwise, we will miss it.  We will make choices that actually destroy our lives if we don't Seek Him.  

My prayer is that each of us will regularly, faithfully, even spontaneously "Hit Pause" to seek God. 

Did I Truly Worship?

Last night at our youth bonfire (BTW... we used wood not youth in the fire), I read from Ephesians 3.  In verse 14 Paul says, "When I think of the wisdom and scope of God's plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth."

As that verse has been stirring around in my soul today, I have wondered about my worship of God.  As one who loves praise songs and who enjoys playing guitar and singing and leading others to worship God, I am convicted of my own LACK of true worship. 

Too many times I have been attempting to lead others and in the process failed to connect with God.

I'm fearful of what we consider worship today.  Many churches and therefore Christians long to have services with a cool band and impressive background effects and lighting and amazing musicians. 

Now there's nothing wrong in and of those things.  We just need to be careful about spending our energy on copying what others are doing (fads) and trying to make sure people get "caught up" in the music, in the moment.  Why?  Because that does not equate with worship. 

Music is only one avenue of worship.  And just because people raise their hands and close their eyes and sing at the top of their lungs (they're all into it) does not mean they've truly worshiped.  Believe me, I know.  It's been my experience far too many times to count.  And I'm saddened by that fact.  Somehow I missed Him.  

I'm reminded of Matt Redman's lyrics in his song "The Heart of Worship."  He sings, "... I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it, when it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus."

Worship is all about God.  True worship flows from a heart that desires to please God - where He is the audience.  True worship comes from a grateful heart for what God has done in a life.  True worship is expressed throughout each day, everyday, not just on certain days of the week. 

The Bible says in Romans 12 that we should offer our bodies as living sacrifices... this is our spiritual act of worship. 

Worship is a lifestyle ... living for the glory and honor and praise of the King Jesus! 

I don't want to miss Him.  I want to be captured with love for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I want to truly WORSHIP HIM!!!

Hurry Up!!!

I had to run over to Guitar Center and Lifeway during lunch today and was reminded again about how many people are out and about shopping for Christmas.  Many are in a HURRY!  I'm so glad we did most of our shopping online this year.

I was reading this morning where Jesus said to "Come away to a deserted place to rest."  I was struck with how few people do this today. 

The Christmas season shines a spotlight on this problem.  The real problem is HURRY.  Much has been written about how fast people are living - living at the speed of light, moving from one activity to another, multi-tasking, and more.  This phenomenon has been termed "Hurry Sickness." 

That's a great phrase to describe it because Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life.  And if we're not careful, we will move so fast through life that our relationships will be mediocre.  It's impossible to love well when we're in a hurry.  It's impossible to love God and others when we rush past them.  We may just skim over life rather than actually live it.

We must, as John Ortberg writes in his book The Life You've Always Wanted, ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives.  The thinking today is that if we hurry, it will buy us more time, and we'll get more done.  Not true.  That's just an illusion!

The cure to Hurry Sickness is SLOWING DOWN.  It requires taking time to rest, to be still, to have some solitude.  This is difficult for many.  And the more unfamiliar we are with solitude, the more intentional we have to be to go after it. 

Henri Nouwen wrote, "Solitude is the furnance of transformation."  Only when we get alone with God, when we are still and quiet, can we hear from Him and truly rest.  Scripture says, "Be still and know that I am God."  I read that to say that you and I cannot truly know God (and I would add "people") if we don't pause from time to time and take a time out. 

Hurry is a disease of the soul.  And in today's world, we must fight it with intentional times of slowing and solitude. It's not easy but it is essential. 

We must "ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives."  Let's practice this over these next days with family and friends and Christmas.

 

Called to Be WEIRD!!!

I read a book awhile back from from pastor and author Craig Groeschel entitled, Weird:  Because Normal Isn't Working.   Groeschel shows how as believers we are to be WEIRD.  Not odd ones or freaks.  But WEIRD. Opposite of NORMAL.  

WHY??  Because most people are NORMAL. Most people are living on the wide path as Jesus talks about; the broad road that leads to destruction. But those who are WEIRD choose to come off of the wide road and enter the narrow one Jesus describes. 

I've been teaching this passage to our students the last couple of Wednesday nights at DRIVEN.

NORMAL people live as if everything they have is theirs.  It's NORMAL today to live in debt up to our eyeballs.  Being WEIRD, though, would be recognizing that everything we have is a gift from God.  Everything belongs to Him and we are stewards of what He entrusts to us.  Being really WEIRD would be trying to pay off debt and not owe anyone.  

NORMAL is always being driven for MORE... MORE stuff, MORE money, MORE toys.  WEIRD would be figuring out how to Give more away and Sacrifice to help others in need.

NORMAL people are getting busier and busier and in the process neglecting the things that matter most, like their relationship with God, time with their spouse and kids, and time to rest, to be re-energized.

WEIRD people don't become lazy, but they try to pay close attention to what matters most.  They are intentional about taking a Sabbath - a time for rest and enjoyment.

NORMAL people are not proactive about their minds and what they allow into them.  WEIRD people try to guard their minds and fill them with things that are pure and lovely and holy and worthy of praise.

NORMAL today is loose sexuality.  NORMAL is "anything goes."  WEIRD is choosing to be FAITHFUL and PURE.

Being WEIRD is what Jesus calls us to be.  To not go along with Culture, but to go against the grain. To be Salt and Light.  To be different.  Set apart.  Not in a "holier-than-thou way," but with an authentic, loving, and giving attitude.  

Our world needs to see Genuine followers of Jesus.  World Changers!!

NORMAL isn't working!  NORMAL does not get us where we need to be!  BEING NORMAL is killing us.  

We must heed the call of Jesus.  We must no longer "copy the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds."  As followers of His, we must choose to BE WEIRD.  

 

Let's Lock our Shields Together

Last week I spent a few days at a discipleship conference with Pastor Joe from the Riverbluff staff.  Wow!  Overwhelming, but good!

In the closing teaching time, Mike Breen from 3DM ministries read from Ephesians 6:10-18.  If you're unfamiliar with this passage, this is where the Apostle Paul describes the Armor of God.  Here it is below from the New Living Translastion:

¹⁰ A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. ¹² For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

 ¹³ Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. ¹⁴ Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. ¹⁵ For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. ¹⁶ In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. ¹⁷ Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

 ¹⁸ Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

Mike focused on two specific words:  "STAND" and "SHIELD."  "Stand" is the most reocurring word in this passage.  Standing is absolutely necessary.  We cannot fight the enemy sitting down.  When we fall down, we've got to get right back up. 

When we function as we are intended to as the Body of Christ, within the Family of God, we help one another STAND.  We pick one another up.  We STAND together.  And when we have clarity of our purpose, our mission, we gain Confidence to STAND, which empowers us with the COURAGE TO STAND.

We all need Courage.  It's hard to muster it up on our own.  We truly need one another in the Church.

The other key part he focused on was the "SHIELD."  Paul refers to it as the "Shield of Faith" that protects us from the arrows aimed at us by Satan.   Many times the shields were soaked in water thus forcing the fiery arrows to be extinguished.

Our faith, our trust in God is our SHIELD.  Believing God is our SHIELD. 

One neat fact I've learned recently is that when the Roman Legionaries took the field in battle, they came together as one and it was called "The Shield Wall." 

The Roman shield had a hooked flange on one side that allowed it to be connected to the shield next to it... thus soldiers could interlock their shields and form a wall of protection. 

It became known as the Roman Testudo.  It was nicknamed "Tortoise or Turtle" because of the shape it created.  Think ancient day TANK!

I love this image because we as followers of Jesus can STAND TOGETHER, interlocking our faith with the faith of another.  We can connect and join forces and when we do, we are STRONGER. 

One of my favorite movies is "Gladiator."  If you've seen it, there is a scene where Maximus and the others are basically thrown into the Coliseum for the purpose of being slaughtered quickly.  But it doesn't turn out as Caesar anticipated.  As Maximus leads this group of gladiators, they quickly defeat the opposition.  Some of his words to them as they fought were:  "Stick together, Hold, As One."  (I'm getting CHILLS as I write this...)

As the Body of Christ, we must stick together.  We must Stand together.  We must be driven by God's Kingdom Purpose.  We must be courageous together.  We can fight for the heart of our King Jesus.  We can fight for the hearts and souls of people. 

And when the battle gets intense, we can LOCK OUR SHIELDS TOGETHER and STAND FIRM. 

 

Out of the Heart

I was reading in Matthew 12 this morning and stumbled upon a short, yet very powerful phrase from the lips of Jesus:  "For whatever is in your heart determines what you say."  He goes on to say, "A good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart."

This is HUGE!  Whatever is IN my heart, deep down in there, is going to show up in my life.  It's going to come out in WHAT I say and in HOW I say it.  It's going to spill out in HOW I SEE people, in how I TREAT them. 

What we allow IN our hearts is Paramount!  I can't help but think about the Proverb that says, "Above ALL else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."  Above ALL else... ahead of everything.

You and I must regularly take our pulse.  We must regularly check and keep a check on what we allow into our hearts, into our lives, into our minds.  We must guard against anything that would harm or destroy us.  We must preserve what is good.  We must fill it with Good things, God things!

As believers we have a NEW HEART given to us by God.  And above all else, we must guard it.  We need to be diligent about what we let our mind dwell on.  Because if we allow things in that do not Honor God, eventually things we don't want to come out will ended up spilling out in what we say and how we treat people. 

Just rambling on a little today!  I was struck this morning by the incredible power of Jesus' words..."For whatever is in your heart determines what you say."